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The Treble Wore Trouble
(No. 11 in the series)
Police Chief Hayden Konig is right at home in his little mountain town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. As a detective, he's first rate. As the organist and choir director at St. Barnabas Church, he is par excellence. But, as a crime writer, he's a far cry from his hard-boiled hero, Raymond Chandler. Still, he is not deterred. Why should he be? He owns Mr. Chandler's typewriter.
It's Ash Wednesday, and with the season of Lent and St. Patrick's Day just around the corner, it seems the perfect time for the new Lutheran-pastor-turned-Episcopal-priest to put her own stamp on the worship style of St. Barnabas. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
With a dead body and a kidnapping to sort out, Hayden doesn't have much time to worry about the Reverend Rosemary Pepperpot-Cohosh. Maybe he should.
ISBN 978-0-9844846-6-9 - 208 Pages
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The Christmas Cantata
A St. Germaine Christmas Entertainment
(No. 10 in the series)
NOW in a new Hardcover gift edition!
St. Germaine, North Carolina was in a crabby mood. Yes, the whole town. If a temperament could affect an entire populace, "crabby" was what St. Germaine was. Noylene's new personal Christian astrologer, a woman named Goldi Fawn Birtwhistle, blamed it on the convergence of Pluto and the third moon of Jupiter.
Pete Moss, the owner of the Slab Café, thought that the crabbiness might have something to do with the increasing levels of positive ion bombardment from outer space. Also included in Pete's theory were sunspots, an ever-widening hole in the ozone layer, the federal deficit, CNN election coverage, armadillo migration, and the cancellation of two long-running soap operas.
Usually in St. Germaine, the three weeks before Christmas were marked by an increase in good feelings toward one's fellow man. Not this year.
St. Germaine's police chief, Hayden Konig, and all the usual suspects, return in this heartwarming Christmas tale. When a long-lost cantata is found in the basement of the courthouse, a Christmas Eve performance is the order of the day. What happens next is anyone's guess.
Not a murder mystery, but one of the sweetest stories you're likely to read.
ISBN 978-0-9844846-9-0 - 128 Pages
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The Alto Wore Tweed
(No. 1 in the series)
Independent Mystery Booksellers Association“Killer Books” selection, 2004
Hayden Konig is the police chief in the small Appalachian town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. His part-time job, however, is serving as the choir director and organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, but he’s also determined to write the next great hard-boiled mystery novel a la Raymond Chandler — a liturgical mystery novel with no real plot, but enough bad prose to make the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest look like the Oxford University Press spring catalog.
Chief Konig is also lucky enough to be independently wealthy, which is why he decides that his lack of talent in the writing department can easily be remedied, or at least greatly enhanced, by the purchase of Raymond Chandler’s 1939 Underwood typewriter. He is sadly mistaken, but the results are uproarious! Even as Hayden works on his opus, he must deal with other, more pressing, problems — a new priest at St. Barnabas, a Christmas feud between the Rotarians and the Kiwanians and, more importantly, a dead body in the choir loft. It’s a good thing that Hayden keeps a loaded Glock under the organ bench!
As Christmas approaches, the tension (and hilarity) rises to a fever pitch. St. Barnabas is introduced to “The Penguin of Bethlehem” and the town’s Nativity feud turns ugly when the Kiwanian’s bagpiper spooks the Rotarian’s camel. A 12 year old wine snob, hedgehogs, Benny (the world-champion thurifer), church antics, and an episode that is just too good to give away, fill out this mystery that will leave you laughing with every page turn.
ISBN - 978-0972121125 - 224 Pages
The Baritone Wore Chiffon
(No. 2 in the series)
St. Germaine’s police chief, Hayden Konig, returns in this hilarious sequel to “THE ALTO WORE TWEED.” He’s beginning to write his second Chandler-style who-dun-it (an effort that is not going as well as he might wish), when he’s called to England to help solve a murder at Yorkminster.
As the season of Lent begins, there’s an interim priest at St. Barnabas – a priest with a wife, and she has an agenda. If the “Edible Last Supper” (featuring the Mary Magdalene Coffee Bar), wasn’t enough, Hayden also has to deal with a Clown Eucharist, snakes loose in the church, the Fung Shui Altar Guild, and a dwarf verger named Wenceslas.
As Easter approaches, it becomes clear that the murder in York has repercussions far exceeding the borders of England. Two dead bodies and counting. Now Hayden has some real problems.
ISBN - 978-0972121132 - 208 Pages
The Tenor Wore Tapshoes
(No. 3 in the series)
IMBA 2006 Dilys Award nominee
Hayden Konig leads a charmed life. He’s rich, he loves his full-time job as Police Chief in the little mountain town of St. Germaine, NC, as well as his part-time employment as the organist and choirmaster at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church. He’s also working on his third detective story and is convinced that purchasing Raymond Chandler’s typewriter and using it to compose his opus will impart some magic to his demented prose. He couldn’t be more mistaken.
Until a body is found inside the altar of St. Barnabas, the biggest crime that Hayden has had to deal with is the theft of “The Immaculate Confection”, a cinnamon bun that looks like the Virgin Mary. The body, however, turns out to be one of the “incorruptibles,” and has been in the altar for over sixty years.
Added to this, a tent evangelist has come to town — Brother Hogmany MacTavish — and he’s having revivals every night featuring Binny Hen the Scripture Chicken, a chicken that chooses the scriptures for Brother Hog’s sermons.
As All Saints Day approaches, Hayden and his friend Pete are coerced into attending the “Iron Mike Men’s Retreat," but when another murder takes place in St. Germaine, it’s time to get serious. Could the bounty hunter called in to find the “Immaculate Confection” have something to do with it?
ISBN - 978-0972121149 - 240 Pages
The Soprano Wore Falsettos
(No. 4 in the series)
Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance
2007 Book Award Nominee
Detective Hayden Konig is a success in anyone’s book. He has a job that he loves as Chief of Police in the small Appalachian town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. He’s employed as the part-time organist and choir master at St. Barnabas Church. He’s just proposed to his sweetheart, Meg Farthing, and, to top it all off, he’s as rich as a televangelist with his own 900 number.
In spite of all his apparent success, Hayden Konig’s life-long dream is yet to be realized. He longs to write the next great hard-boiled mystery. Though his past attempts have been less than impressive, Hayden is convinced that using Raymond Chandler’s actual typewriter (purchased at an auction) is just the impetus his writing needs to push his detective story over the top. Unfortunately, he’s dead wrong.
St. Barnabas, meanwhile, has come into a great deal of money. Sixteen million dollars, to be exact, and the members of the congregation all have ideas on how to spend it.
Suddenly, a shot rang out! A woman screamed, and Detective Konig has another dead body in the choir loft. It’s business as usual in St. Germaine. With Easter right around the corner and suspects galore, Hayden must find the murderer. Can things get any worse?
ISBN - 978-0972121163 - 208 Pages
The Bass Wore Scales
(No. 5 in the series)
Where does a 500 lb. “born-again” gorilla sleep?
Anywhere he wants!
For Detective Hayden Konig, things are going well. He enjoys his two jobs, he’s independently wealthy, his girlfriend has agreed not to marry him, and no one has been killed in St. Germaine since Palm Sunday.
In spite of all this success, Hayden has one more dream to realize—he longs to be a writer. As the organist and choir director of St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, he takes every opportunity to inflict his attempts at hard-boiled, musical detective stories on the choir, and, to boost his credibility, he’s even purchased Raymond Chandler’s actual typewriter. It doesn’t help.
Summers in North Carolina are usually peaceful, but when Kokomo, the world-famous signing gorilla, comes to town, suddenly there’s a dead body in the church and all the evidence points to the great ape. Can Hayden figure out the mystery in time to save Kokomo? (Well...of course he can...)
ISBN - 978-0972121187 - 240 Pages
The Mezzo Wore Mink
(No. 6 in the series)
Detective Hayden Konig is living the dream. He’s rich, he loves his work, and his girlfriend is prettier than a Holiday Gift Basket full of smoked oysters. Still, Hayden’s not a man to rest on his laurels. His mission is clear—he will be a writer. Not just a writer, but a hard-boiled, noir detective wordsmith worthy of Raymond Chandler’s typewriter. He has to. He owns it.
As the choirmaster and organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, he’s become accustomed to passing out his musical murder mysteries to the choir. They’re always happy to give advice. It doesn’t always help.
Autumn in St. Germaine, North Carolina, is an enchanting time of year. But throw in two murders, an election, a Christian nudist camp, and St. Barnabas’ answer to the local Baptist church’s annual Singing Christmas Tree — the first-ever performance of The Living Gobbler — and things are bound to become complicated.
ISBN - 978-0972121194 - 192 Pages
The Diva Wore Diamonds
(No. 7 in the series)
Detective Hayden Konig has a great job in the little village of St. Germaine, North Carolina. He also has a loving wife, a fulfilling avocation as a choir director, friends, the respect of his peers, a house in the woods, a dog, a few guns, a 1962 pick-up truck, and more money than he can stuff into a feather-tick mattress. In short, he is living the Appalachian Dream.
In spite of his prosperity and good fortune, he still has one ambition left to realize—that of becoming a hard-boiled, crime writer. To further that goal, he’s spared no expense in buying Raymond Chandler’s typewriter, his hat, and innumerable Cuban cigars. It doesn’t help.
St. Barnabas Day is reason for celebration! The new, rebuilt church has risen like an angel food souffle and is playing host to parishioners and dignitaries alike, but when a time-capsule from 1900 is opened during the festivities, the discovery throws the whole town into a tither. Toss in a murder, a Prayer Vigil that goes horribly wrong, the return of Brother Hog, Bible School terrorists, and a Children's Choir performance of an unknown Henry Purcell masterpiece, and St. Barnabas Episcopal Church will never be the same.
ISBN - 978-0972121156 - 160 Pages
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The Organist Wore Pumps
(No. 8 in the series)
Police chief Hayden Konig is a lucky man. He’s wealthy, he enjoys his work, he has a loving wife, good friends, and lives in the quaintest, most picturesque town in the North Carolina mountains. With all this going for him, you’d think he’d be satisfied. He’s not. He longs to be a writer, a hard-boiled, noir detective word-slinger worthy of the 1939 Underwood No. 5 sitting on his desk—a typewriter once owned by Raymond Chandler. You’d think a machine like this would help. It doesn’t.
As a detective, Chief Konig is at the top of his game. As the organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, he can play with the best of them. But as a writer, Hayden produces more bad prose than the St. Germaine Garden Club’s annual poetry review.
What do the bones of an ancient king, a scoodle of skunks, a farm auction, the best Christmas parade ever, and an obnoxious deacon have to do with the dead body floating in Lake Tannenbaum? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. It’s up to Hayden to pull all the clues together like two cousins in a Kentucky hayloft. After all, Epiphany is right around the corner!
ISBN 978-0-9844846-0-7 - 192 Pages
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The Countertenor Wore Garlic
(No. 9 in the series)
St. Germaine, North Carolina might be the most eccentric little town in the Appalachian Mountains—at least that’s what Hayden Konig, the Chief of Police thinks.
Hayden has been the chief for nineteen years. As a detective, he’s first rate. As the organist at St. Barnabas Church, he’s one of the best ivory jockeys in the county. He’s fabulously rich, has a beautiful wife, a cabin in the woods, a dog, a gun, and a pick-up truck.
What more could any red-blooded American male want? That’s easy! What he wants is to be a hard-boiled, noir, crime writer. Undeterred by what his audience calls a “conspicuous lack of talent,” Hayden Konig has purchased Raymond Chandler’s typewriter in a desperate bid to channel some of the master’s wordcraft. It doesn’t help.
Vicar Fearghus McTavish is a Calvinist Anglican priest with strict Scottish Presbyterian leanings—not exactly the perfect interim priest for St. Barnabas. So when the church participates in the town Halloween carnival, it’s only a matter of time before something goes terribly wrong. Suddenly there’s a dead body, and Hayden Konig has his hands full with a Congregational Enlivener, the Zombies of Easter Walk, and a town packed with adolescent vampires. “Hey,” says Hayden, “what’s the worst that can happen...?”
ISBN 978-0-9844846-2-1 - 192 Pages